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Tackling The Fear of Success

October 13, 20215 min read

Truth be told, I’ve battled the fear of success my whole life.

I’m still a work in progress.

So how do you overcome this fear and step fully into that feeling of ‘deserving’ success and abundance.

Funny, I find that I coach others better on this, that doing it myself, ever felt the same way?

I have had success in my life, quite a bit to be fair, although as you grow to another level, that’s when the real nasty old soldier likes to show its face and pull you back to that comfort zone, because it feels safe.

There is a concept taught by Gay Hendricks called ‘The Upper Limit’. I read a book 5 years ago called ‘The Big Leap’ . It was an amazing book, I believe one of the best books I’ve ever read.

In business and life, as we strive for more love, money and success, we operate on a thermostat of what we believe we deserve AND how long we can sustain good things in our life.

What do I mean by sustaining good things?

What I’ve learned about myself is that I’ve struggled with the fear of outshining others and in not wanting to be an asshole in business, by undercutting people and being that guy who is rich and people just think I’m a greedy guy who doesn’t share the wealth.

Growing up, my family didn’t have much money. Money was a painful discussion in my family. My parents worked very hard, we lived on credit cards most of the time and as I dug into this deeper, we celebrated working overtime, working weekend’s and getting a new $5,000 limit credit card.

What do you think this resulted in for me in my early years?

My tires getting pumped when I worked long days, weekends and evenings, it was like a badge of honor.

I racked up thousands of dollars of credit card debit.

The fear of outshining others came from growing up and always being told to be careful not to step on anyone’s toes.

The fear of being an asshole in business came from seeing people around me in my early years, including an old mentor, doing shady things behind people’s backs for personal gain.

I thought how could people be so selfish and dis-respectful?

The Upper Limit is that level that once you hit it, it puts up warning signs that you’ve hit your capacity of love, money, creativity, abundance and success, now it's time to pull back to what is comfortable.

Sound familiar?

Ever notice when your having an awesome week, had sales coming in, crushed some workouts, had a date day with your partner, then you look for something out of nowhere like a past painful experience that is long gone and makes no sense to bring up, but in doing so, it stirs the pot, because inside you're like, there is no way this good week can keep going like this, so lets sabotage it.

Integrity is really about wholeness and completeness.

When we don’t live in alignment with ourselves, we do silly things to sabotage the good that we are experiencing.

Here are some behaviours we may do:

  • Worrying

  • Blame and criticism

  • Getting sick or hurt

  • Squabbling

  • Hiding significant feelings

  • Not keeping agreements

  • Not speaking significant truths to relevant people

  • Deflecting

Here is a question from ‘The Big Leap’ that I’d like you to reflect on:

Can I allow things to go well in my life and business all the time? In business, relationships, can I live in harmony and balance all the time?


If I can eliminate the behaviours that stop the flow of positive energy, can I learn how to feel great all the time?

When I first heard these I had red flags come up such as: it's not possible to have balance in my business and still be an incredible husband, awesome dad and loyal friend.

It's possible, although there needs to be a shift from the inside first, so that things line up on the outside.

Are you willing to feel good and have your life and business go well all the time?

Success is a beautiful thing, although it comes with many negative connotations like we have to grind 24 hours a day 7 days a week, or you need to destroy your competition, or you need to sleep less and get up earlier.

These may all have some truth, although I want to be alive 10 years from now and not stuck on a hospital bed on IV’s like I was at 26 years old for 2 days from over stressing myself.

Success is a beautiful thing, yes you’ll have to work hard, you’ll need to be focused, you’ll need to educate yourself daily, you’ll need to say no to certain things and yes to others, you’ll need to work on yourself just as hard, if not harder than your business.

It's becoming one with success, embracing it, loving every minute of the journey towards it, being present, remaining a student and not letting the ego take full control.

Now imagine life with success, more freedom, more money, more love, more happiness.

How would that feel to you?

Here is a little hint.

Start feeling and embracing this now, embrace the emotions you’ll feel with more freedom, live in it now, allow it to expand within you, then see it unfold outside of you.

Either we take a hold of this fear thing or it controls us.

I want to embrace it, be one with it, as fear will never disappear.

I want to welcome it, look at it head on, study it, step into it, give it a kiss good night.

I could go on for many more pages, I’m going to let that sink in for today.

Hope it serves you!

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